Troll
by rozisa
Summary: Thor wants to have his wedding to Jane on Asgard, but he needs a volunteer, make that victim, to see if the newly constructed bridge is safe. Bruce is the obvious choice, but things don't go as planned. Sequel to "Three Faces of Bruce."
1. Chapter 1

"Friend Bruce, I suggest you take a pen and notebooks," said Thor. "Your technology may not work at optimum levels on Asgard."

Tony said in a loud forceful voice, "Why does Bruce get to go to Asgard?"

Fury smiled at him like he was a small child. "Because Dr. Banner can't be killed by normal means. Thor and Jane want to have their wedding on Asgard, but Thor needs to know if people from our world can even cross the newly constructed rainbow bridge."

"If Bruce comes back alive and well, then other people can go," said Tony.

Fury gave Tony a hostile stare with his one eye. "Thor just said that our technology may not function at optimum levels. Do you really want to be another world with your arc rector not working?"

Natasha said, "Your arc rector failed when you entered the wormhole. Miss Foster, Miss Lewis, Dr. Selvig and any one else the bride invites for her wedding will hopefully be able to make the trip. I, already, have a dress picked out. Thor, you will be inviting the Avengers?"

"Since Tony can't go, I don't think it would be proper to invite the other Avengers," said Thor. "However, Jane hasn't made her list, yet."

Natasha's smile returned. "Tony, you can miss one wedding."

Thor said, "Your troll will love Asgard."

"A quick trip there and back," said Bruce. "No troll."

Thor put a large hand on Bruce's shoulder. "We shall see."

Bruce packed a backpack with warm clothes, several composition books and enough pens and pencils for several days, in case, Thor was forced to partake in several feasts celebrating the return of the heir apparent. He didn't like the idea that he was chosen to make this trip because he was tossed out of airplanes, shot and didn't get sick when treating Diphtheria or Ebola. Given all that, he coming back alive wouldn't necessarily mean that Jane Foster could make the trip. Then again, if he couldn't make the trip that meant Jane wouldn't be able to since she had a weaker constitution. However, if Bruce could make the make the trip, they would need further testing.

Realizing he might be invited to one of those feasts, he would need to wear something nicer than his baggy professor clothes. After taking the elevator to the upper floors of Stark Tower, he knocked on the door of the penthouse.

Tony answered the door then said, "Are you here to rub your good fortune in my face?" leading his friend inside the penthouse.

"I need something to wear to an Asgard feast," said Bruce, ignoring Tony's pouting. "Thor's friends wouldn't have armor my size, besides can you see me in chainmail?"

Tony put an hand on Bruce's shoulder. "You would look hot in chainmail."

"The weight of walking around in such heavy clothes could upset me enough to bring out the other guy," said Bruce. "And destroying a royal feast would not be good manners."

Tony smiled.

"It isn't funny."

"Yes, it is." Tony walked over to the black leather sofa. "A bunch of Asgardians holding you down while Thor says 'You must sing lullabies to the troll.' Thor starts singing loudly and badly and they end up singing a raunchy bar song and the Hulk joins in."

Bruce sat on the sofa and put his hands on his face. "I still need something appropriate for a royal feast."

"Only chainmail will do." Tony smiled. "I don't have any in your size."

Bruce took his hands away from his face and leaned forward on the sofa. "You have chainmail?"

"At the manor, nothing here," said Tony. "When are you leaving? I may be able to weld you something."

"I'll wear my parka and ski pants." Bruce didn't lose control all that often but fumbling around in a suit of armor that weighed nearly as much as he did would definitely set him off. "I hear the grand hall gets cold. Castles are terribly drafty places. But thanks for the offer."

He didn't know if cold enough for a parka and ski pants, but he heard stories of frost giants and Asgard made him think of ice and snow. Thor was a god and could run around in armor no matter what the temperature. Either way, he would have the warm clothing if he needed it. The wild boars, the ice monsters and being inside a drafty castle without a cellphone or computer. This trip sounded like a whole bunch of no fun. Why did Tony want to go?

Bruce flew to New Mexico on a S.H.I.E.L.D. jet with Thor sitting beside him. Jane met Thor at the airport and greeted him with a hug. After the hugging ended, Bruce said, "Hello, Jane. It's nice seeing you, again."

Jane smiled awkwardly, "Hello, Dr. Banner."

Jane drove them to the portal.

Once they were in the center of a circle etched into the rocky ground, Thor yelled for Heimdall. Bruce was surrounded by white light like the blinding rage of the hulk but without the rage. The opposite, in fact, calm beautiful light engulfed him.

The light became the black of night and he was on a bridge. Thor was holding his backpack. Something was wrong. He was taller than Thor. He put a hand to his face. Green. He blinked a few times. "Thor, what just happened?" That deep voice was his.

"I have your backpack," said Thor. "How do you feel?"

"Good, healthy," Bruce took a deep breath, large lung-capacity, the Hulk's lungs.

Heimdall walked over to them and gave Thor a big hug.

Thor patted Heimdall's shoulder. "This is my friend, Bruce."

Bruce cradled his backpack in one arm. "Thor, how does one greet a god?"

"'Greetings Heimdall' works," said Thor.

Heimdall took Bruce's hand and clasped it. "You fought along side Thor. That makes you Thor's brother."

Brother like Loki. Bruce cringed.

"I shall take Bruce to the palace," said Thor. "He is a bit shaken by the trip across the rainbow bridge. We shall talk later."

Thor put an arm around Bruce and led him past the gatehouse to a beautiful city. The stretchy pants Tony made him wear, in case, they were attacked by dragons or frost giants still held. At least, he didn't have to approach the city gates naked. But purple, Tony, really?.

"I hate to impose but Tony wanted to pack me armor and I refused." Bruce hated the sound of his voice. His deep voice was the least of it - he was nine feet tall and green. Still the bridge had healed him like Fiona was healed in Shrek. Maybe, he could find a female ogre to love him. It was Asgard and ogres did live here or he believed they did. Bruce never claimed to be an expert on Nordic myths. "I need undergarments and chainmail."

"While you are here, you are my guest," said Thor.

"Is there somewhere warm?" asked Bruce.

"You can sit by the fire while I talk to the smith," said Thor. "Or I can give you a robe to wear since you may wish to help design your garments." Bruce held in the shiver while still holding his backpack close to him. "A robe is good. On second thought, you can talk to the smith and a tailor alone. I need time to think. Besides, you know more about Asgardian fashion than I."

"As you wish." Thor led Bruce into a beautiful palace past waterfalls that dwarfed anything on Earth. Bruce decided, once he had warm clothing, he would just sit in the shade of a tree and observe the waterfalls for hours. He had seen Victoria Falls in Africa, but the blue of the water, the green of the trees, the quiet of the forest made this place magical. He was in Asgard, the world of the gods. He now understood Tony's jealousy.

They walked down one pathway then another. "I have the perfect chamber for you," said Thor. "It used belong to an ogre."

"What happened to the last tenant?"

"His wife found out he was bedding a chambermaid," said Thor. "Never cross a female ogre."

Finding a female ogre was out. And he though he had anger issues - had anger issues. He was happy now. He was green, nine feet tall and unattractive, but he was happy. Too happy to try to bring out the Hulk. Was that even possible, seeing that he was the Hulk? He didn't want to think about it - it would probably make his head hurt. He just wanted to write about waterfalls, giant trees and palaces made of crystal.

Thor gave him a hug before saying, "Farewell."

Bruce jumped onto well-packed straw mattress. "Farewell, Friend Thor." He opened his backpack, put on the glasses he had made for the Hulk and took out a pencil and composition book. The pencil broke - snapping in two - when he tried to write. He took out a pen. Holding it gently, he began to write. Stephen Hawking could write only moving his eyes. Bruce had no reason to complain. His body was whole and brimming with health and vigor. One broken pencil wouldn't keep him from writing his observations about visiting an alien world.

He wrote page after page about trees, flowers, rock formations, and the rainbow bridge. Finally, he started yawning, put his glasses on the table and went to sleep on the straw mattress, pulling the heavy blankets over his large body. Thor woke him the next day. From the light shining through the window much too early. "Mommy, can I have a few more minutes?"

"I found you a robe to wear." Thor threw a multicolored robe onto the bed. "Still green, I see."

"I'm going to sit outside wrapped in my blanket and enjoy the waterfall unless there are any animals out there that make the Chitauri look like field mice."

"Just some wild boars, giant snakes and some harpies," teased Thor. "And the occasional small fuzzy animal with big sharp teeth. Nothing you couldn't handle."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes:

I'm using the backstory from the first Hulk movie, "Hulk", which has Bruce abused as a small child by a father named David. I never read the comics, but I'm a fan of the movies. Thank you, everyone, who marked my story in their favorites or asked for updates. If I was a bit better with technology, I would reply to you personally. But I'm a bit like Steve when it comes to new fangled gadgets, so I apology.

Chapter 2

A hour or so later, a beautiful woman with long black hair walked over to Bruce. "Greetings, stranger. You aren't from around here."

"It's that obvious," Bruce teased. "I'm visiting from another planet."

"You don't look like a Midgardian."

Bruce huffed. "And you are an expert on Midgard?"

"No, but I visited once." She pull out her hand. "Sif."

"Bruce."

"Bruce, are you part plant?"

"I never thought about it like that, but yes." Bruce smiled at the pretty woman now sitting beside him on the dew-soaked grass. "I get some of my energy from radiation, which is similar to plants coverting sunlight into sugar through photosynthesis. I also need to eat a lot. I'd be pretty inaction if I relied on adsorbing gamma radiation for all my life activities. That was more than you needed to know."

"How did you end up a plant person?" Sif asked.

"My dad was a mutant, so I'm a mutant." It was more complicated than that, but why bore the poor lady?

"Do you need to sit in the sun all day or can I show you around? I'm sure Thor is too busy meeting with his father to give you the grand tour."

"You know Thor?"

"Thor and I go way back."

"My clothes got ruined when we were crossing the rainbow bridge," Bruce explained. "Thor has half of Asgard working on my new clothes but they still won't be done for another day. Can the tour wait?"

"No, tour," said Sif. "Are you one of Jane's friends?"

"I've met her a few times, but we aren't close. I'm a friend of Thor's, more a comrade-in-arms."

"You don't want to talk about it. Secret spy stuff. I bet you helped bring Loki back to Asgard and you're afraid I'm one of Loki's co-conspirators. Loki's spies are everywhere. Keeping quiet is good." She took his hand. "Nice hands. Big green. Good for absorbing sunlight."

"Do you have to talk so much?"

"Was your mother also a mutant?"

"Not that I know of. She died when I was four. I don't remember much about her. My father killed her. I grew up in foster care and was never adopted. I have a lot of anger issues." Why was he telling this total stranger his life story? Maybe, because she was a total stranger.

"Loki was adopted by our king and queen and he still has anger issues. So, maybe, you were better off in foster care."

"Shhh." Bruce put of finger over his lip. "Loki's spies are everywhere."

Sif laughed.

xxxxx

Later, that day before Sif went off to hunt with her friends, she kissed Bruce's cheek then she said she would take him hunting once he was no longer wearing bed clothes. The sun was setting in the sky when Thor tapped his shoulder.

"Did you eat?" asked Thor.

"I drank water from the pool over there." Bruce pointed to a beautiful pool surrounded by flowers that didn't seen to mind the chill in the air. "I also had a few apples." He then pointed to a tree with golden apples.

"Those golden apples keep us forever young." Thor stand and glared at his friend. "What have you done?"

Bruce folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not leaving, so it's no big deal."

Thor sat down beside Bruce and put an arm around his shoulders. "You said 'a quick trip there and back.'"

"I can't go back. Either I return to my normal self and this becomes a hazy dream or I don't and I'm a stupid rage monster, again. I wasn't lying when I told Steve that my secret is I'm always angry. I'm happy here." Bruce could feel anger welling up inside him. Anger at Thor. "Don't take this from me."

"When you have proper attire to meet a king, I shall arrange an audience with my father. I shall place it in the All-Father's hands."

"Thank you." After all the years of mediation and yoga, it took a lot to rile Bruce up. Then why did he feel like punching Thor out? Holding the blanket around himself, he stood and walked back to his chamber because his anger at being told his fate was in Odin's hands was getting to him and he didn't want to show his anger to his friend Thor.

Back in his room, he punched the wall. The wall got a slight indent but held. A room designed for an ogre. Bruce sat on the bear rug and looked into the dancing flames in the fireplace. He didn't want to be an ogre. He wanted to the calm plant person Sif saw. That indent on the wall said he was truly cured. He could show his anger like a normal person and not have his rage total a city block. He looked at the fire and let his mind smile like his swami had told him to do all those years ago. Sif, a beautiful woman, a goddess, kissed him.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, while Bruce was writing in his journal, Thor threw his new clothes on the bed - beige undergarments and shining metal knee-length armor - a shirt and leggings. Linen undergarments, not leather like Thor's armor. Then Thor was a prince and should wear nicer clothes than a commoner.

"Thor, are you angry with me?"

"Yes, a little, but with good reason." Thor stared at the shining new armor in the bed. "You ate the golden apples without asking."

"Only a few. The tree still has plenty. I didn't know what they were," Bruce said in a small voice. "I read Beowulf in high school, but I don't remember much of it. And my knowledge of Nordic Mythology is limited to a few names of gods. Now I seem to recall in the myths you are married to Sif. Also, in the myths, she has beautiful golden tresses that represent wheat, and in Real Life, her hair is black."

"Loki cut off her golden tresses and she replaced her hair with dwarf hair," said Thor. "It turned black. You met Sif?"

"We talked and she kissed me."

Thor ordered, "Dress."

Bruce slipped off the stretchy purple pants that he had been wearing for nearly 3 days, and put on the clean linen undergarments, not that he expected Asgard to have cotton. Bed sheets were made of linen and linen made by gods was almost as soft as cotton. They weren't a tee shirt and jeans, but they fit and would keep him dry the next time he sat on dew-soaked grass.

Thor then helped him with the chainmail. "Naked feet."

"I battled Loki with bare feet." After Bruce put on his glasses, Bruce stood in front of the mirror and smiled at the green beast in chainmail smiling back at him. "A brush through my hair and I'm ready to have an audience with a king."

Opening the trunk at the foot of the straw mattress, Thor felt around the spare blanket until he pulled out a wooden brush with boar's hair bristles. Thor handed him the brush. "Friend Bruce, once you are battling boars in the mud, you shall wish for boots."

Bruce brushed his short dark brown hair then put the brush on the table beside his notebooks.

Thor slapped Bruce's shoulders. "Let's breakfast in the great hall."

Bruce followed. Thor introduced him to his three best friends then Sif arrived and took a seat beside Bruce. He drank mead out of a mug the size of a Earth pitcher, ate wild boar and broke bread with Thor's friends. Since his father was a drunk that abused a small child and killed his wife in what Bruce believed was a drunken rage, Bruce didn't normally drink. That being said, a great hall in Asgard was no place to order ginger ale, besides he was a stranger and when in Asgard; therefore, he drunk the mead. Being nine feet tall and mostly muscle, he held his liquor and didn't feel the slightly bit drunk, even though his companions were singing more and more off-key.

Then Thor tapped Bruce on the shoulder, again. "Time for an audience with my father."

Sif kissed Bruce's cheek. "Good luck."

Thor walked ahead and Bruce followed. Everywhere was gold and amber. The chandelier had like a thousand candles - all lit. Bruce then remembered he needed to look down and be humble before the king. He could stare at the throne room like an awe-struck child later. Thor stopped walking.

Bruce could see the white-haired one-eyed king on his throne. At the foot of the throne sat two large wolves. Bow or kneel? At his height, kneeling would be good. Bruce got down on one knee then bent at the waist, so he was looking at the amber floor. Don't speak until spoken to. The King always gets the first and last word.

"Rise," said the king.

Bruce stood slowly. "Your majesty."

The king said, "Bruce Davidson, I hear that you subdued Loki, so Thor could bring him back to Asgard."

"Yes, your majesty." Bruce didn't have much experience with royalty and was more than a little nervous. This wasn't any king - this was a god-king.

"You are also a fierce warrior, taking down many of the Chitauri single-handed."

Bruce just nodded.

"You aren't much for words." Odin chuckled. "You called my adopted son a puny god."

Bruce looked at his bare feet then straight ahead. The wise king sat on his throne. Thor was standing near his father, the King. No guards were visible - was that a good thing or a bad thing? Good. That meant the King trusted him. Then those wolves were probably his guards.

"Bruce Davidson, are there any questions you wish to ask me?"

Bruce gestured from the top of his head to the bottom of his chainmail. "Why am I like this?"

"Asgard is the world of the gods. You can live here and stay as you are or you can return home and to the man you were." Odin was implying he wasn't the man he was on Earth. That meant he was either the Hulk or a combination of Bruce and the Hulk.

Dr. Bruce Banner was now the other guy and he wasn't going to return to Midgard to have the other guy see his trip to Asgard as a hazy dream and then out of fear snow himself (use high levels of pain medicine to kill himself in his sleep) so he, the Hulk, couldn't spit out the bullet. He wanted to live and the other guy wasn't going to take that from him. "I have one more question. I read that Sif was married to Thor; however, Thor is engaged to Jane and has never been previously married."

"Time passes slow here." Odin's smile seemed to contain the wisdom of the ages. "The Midgardians write tales that have us growing older and staying immoral at the same time. Sif, I'm afraid, sees Thor as a brother and has her eye on other men as much as I would approve of their union. Now that Thor is engaged to Jane Foster that is all water under the bridge to use your vernacular."

Bruce stood there, waiting to be dismissed.

Odin then said, "Bruce Davidson, welcome to Asgard. I bid you farewell."

Bruce knelt, again, then stood up and left.

-  
Thor met him outside the throne room. "You have one more person to see."

"The cobbler." Bruce looked at his naked feet. "The whole one-tongue thing has me confused. Do you hear me speaking English or Norse?"

"English, I believe," said Thor. "Say 'Hulk smash' and I'll answer your question."

Bruce frowned at him then a split-second later, unable to keep it in, smiled.

"My friend, you need to laugh more. Hold on. We're going for a ride."

Bruce put one arm around Thor's waist and the other on his shoulder. Thor used his hammer to fly to another castle - this one darker and more foreboding then Odin's palace. The gatekeeper just smiled at Thor and let them pass. They walked down a winding staircase to a lower basement - the dungeon. A dark place even with torches lining the stone walls.

In what looked like a normal prison cell with an iron door stood Loki in what looked like undergarments similar to what Bruce was wearing under his chainmail. "Gatekeeper!" Loki yelled. Magic must have kept him from escaping because that cell didn't look capable of holding back a god.

"Hello, Brother," said Thor.

Bruce smiled at the frightened black-haired demi-god. "The last time you spoke to me all I heard was blah-blah-blah. I promise to listen this time." His memories of being the Hulk had been small to non-existent. Now that he could remember everything the Hulk remembered, he didn't remember much more than anger, smash, smash, more angry because there simply wasn't anything more to remember. Still, it was nice to know most of the damage in Harlem was caused by the Abomination or him fighting the Abomination. And he killed soldiers only when they were attacking him or poised to attack him. He wasn't so bad after all. Then again, if Odin was right and he was the Hulk then his memories would be colored by being seen out of the Hulk's eyes. No matter what the God King said he still felt like Bruce in a somewhat bigger body.

Loki looked out through the metal bars in the small window in the iron door. "Thor, you bring that monster to my chamber to torture me. Where is your high-minded justice now? You dress it in our finest armor, but it is like teaching a boar to dance."

Bruce laughed, remembering the cliche - you can teach a pig to sing, but you will only upset yourself and frustrate the pig - or something like that; it's been awhile since he heard that quote and it wasn't like he could look it up on Google. "Puny god."

Thor said, "Norse."

Then Bruce laughed some more until he was holding his stomach from laughing so hard. "Thank you, Loki. I haven't laughed that much in years." He did laugh harder once. When Susanne pretended to be Meg Ryan at Katz's Deli.

xxxx

Author's note. Bruce did get it wrong. The real quote is "Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig."


	4. Chapter 4

A fortnight passed. After a long day hunting then washing the mud off a natural hot spring with mineral salts, Bruce headed back to his chamber in the palace. His body ached and he was walking with a limp. Sif, in a pale linen gown, was lying on the bed waiting for him. Her long black hair was free of its usual braids. He didn't know what he did in this life to deserve such beauty.

"You're hurt," she said sitting up.

"It's nothing," Bruce lied. Each nerve ending in his raw exposed skin must have been firing. "Volstagg noticed my green was coming off and guys ganged up on me and scrubbed all the green skin off my body, leaving the pink skin underneath." He laid down on the bed beside her, took off his glasses, put them on the table and stared up at the ceiling. "Willow tree bark."

"What?" she asked.

"I was a doctor on Midgard," said Bruce. "I know about herbs. Willow tree bark is a pain reliever."

"I'll get you some willow tree bark."

"A lot because I need to chew it," Bruce explained.

She kissed his cheek. "Will you be alright if I leave to get the willow tree bark?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise. Could you help undress me first? No, just, please, help me with the boots. I can manage the rest."

The goddess pulled off one boot then the other. "How could you let them do that to you?"

"The more blood I bleed out the less radiation I have inside me." Bruce made his voice was very soft. He just wanted to will the pain away. "The new blood won't have the gamma radiation. It will be fine. I heal fast," He said, mostly to appease her. As far as he knew, it wouldn't be alright and he would succumb to radiation sickness.

Sif sat beside him. "Thor said there was this other you on Midgard a small man - very normal looking and definitely not green. You don't want to go home because you're scared you will return to being him."

"I don't want to die," said Bruce. Well, at this moment, he wasn't so sure because dying would end the pain; however, Sif getting him the bark he requested would lessen the pain and was a much better option than dying. "The other guy would rather kill us both then let me live, especially when he finds out that I made him radioactive."

"Radioactive?" she asked.

"Remember I told you when we met that I absorb energy from the environment. Well, because I ate those golden apples, I'm no longer absorbing energy - I'm emitting it. The energy I'm emitting won't only make me sick but will make Misgardians exposed to me sick or, possibly, kill them."

Sif put a hand on his face. "I don't understand."

Bruce cringed. "Please, don't touch me. It hurts to be touched right now."

Sif pulled her hand away. "I'll get you the willow tree bark and then we'll talk."

"Thank you." Bruce curled up into a ball. He didn't remember ever hurting this bad. He thought back to Tony telling him that the Hulk protected him. He wondered if the pain he felt was the first signs of radiation sickness. At least, Asgardians couldn't get cancer; thus, he couldn't make them sick - one of the many advantages of being on the planet of the gods. Another advantage was they didn't see him as a monster. And then there was Sif, beautiful Sif. Closing his eyes, he tried to mediate the pain away.

He was miles away when a hand touched his sore skin and he curled tighter into a ball. "Sif, don't touch me!"

"I got your willow tree bark," said Sif.

"Please, place it on the table," Bruce said in what he hoped was a friendlier voice.

She put it on the table along side his glasses, composition books, letters he wrote to several of the Avengers, hair brush and pens.

Slowly, Bruce sat up, although every nerve ending in his body told him not to, and reached over to the table to grab a wad of willow tree bark to chew on. Salicin was a mild pain reliever but it was better than nothing, besides the chewing gave him something to focus on. After putting his hands on the mattress to brace himself, he said, "Talk."

"Odin considers you a hero and welcomes you to Asgard with open arms. And he sees far more than I. I didn't ask you about what Thor said to make you angry. I don't care who you were before you came here. What I know is: You never pinch the serving wenches' behinds or touch their bosoms. You get water for the horses although you're too heavy to ride. And a hundred other acts of kindness I've witnessed."

Bruce smiled through the pain and then returned to chewing. The willow tree bark was helping - taking the edge off. A hundred to an Asgardian could mean any large number. It didn't mean she counted him doing a hundred random acts of kindness.

Sif asked, "Has the other you tried to kill you before?"

After spitting the chewed bark into the chamberpot, Bruce explained, "Yes, but I stopped him. If he drugs us, I won't be able to stop him. I'm fighting for my life here. I didn't lie to you as much as I was trying to tell you about me is understandable chunks."

"I do go 'huh' a lot."

Bruce took some more bark and held it between his thumb and index finger for a second. "You're this beautiful goddess and I'm an ugly beast. I don't know what you see in me."

"Bruce, don't ever call yourself ugly. You're kind, gentle and help out even when you get no personal benefit. Most of the men I know are selfish oafs. Thor isn't as but he knows he's the prince and acts like it. Does that make sense? You're different. You're in a lot of pain and, probably, want to sleep it off and you're still making time for me."

Bruce put the bark in his mouth, lied back down on the bed and started chewing. Focus on the chewing. The movement of your jaw. Masticate. Bruce closed his eyes. His eyelids even hurt.

"You're sick?"

Bruce nodded.

Sif asked, "What's going to happen to you?"

He spit out the bark, again. "I'm going to threw up a lot, have sores all over my body, a high fever, my blood count will drop. Eventually, I will loss consciousness and die."

"But you don't want the other guy to kill you?"

"I have a good constitution." Bruce lied back down and shut his eyes. "I may pull through."

"I'll sleep on the floor because it hurts more when I touch you." Sif said, "I won't leave you."

Author's Note: I am yet to receive a review of this story. Please, review this story if you want me to post more. Mwhahaha! Say I need a beta. That I can't write. The silence is awful.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Bruce felt better. Even though, he was no longer adsorbing gamma radiation, he must still have had supernatural healing from those damn apples. He got up and looked in the mirror. His skin was no longer green and his eyes were growing more brown with each passing day. He looked at the dark brown hair growing on his slightly tanned arms. He looked like any other giant on Asgard. Well, giants on Asgard stood 12 to 20 feet (a few were even taller - some as high as the trees - but like really long alligators on Misgard - they were extremely rare). A bit better looking than your average ogre. He smiled to himself.

He was normal and most likely healthy. A bit short of a giant and a bit tall for a human being. He looked down at his hairy legs and decided to let the hair on his head grow. He hadn't shaved since coming to Asgard. The boar he killed yesterday would have been cooking all night. He would go to the fire pits and talk to the royal chefs.

He wanted pizza. They had great cheese here (sheep and goat milk cheeses - hard and soft) and good crusty bread, but he hadn't seen a tomato. If the cook didn't know what a tomato was, he would have to ask Jane to bring him some and a packet of tomato seeds to grow more. Boy, could he go for a pizza.

Sif sat up. "I didn't know you were awake. How do you feel?"

"Great. I'm totally healed. Well, my stomach is a bit sour, but other than that I'm perfect. I'm losing the green in my eyes and my body hair is growing in."

"What about you being radioactive?" she asked through half-open eyes. "Is that what you called it?"

"Radiation sickness? I must have sweated it out. I told you I have a good constitution." He was probably still radioactive and would have to wait until Jane arrived with a Geiger Counter to know for certain.

"You had me worried last night," she admitted. "I never seen anyone as sick as you looked. I didn't want to lose you."

Bruce sat on the mattress and put a hand on her back. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I don't think you had radiation sickness," said Sif. "I'm not a doctor like you are, but Odin doesn't welcome many people to Asgard. You're the first that I remember. You losing your green and growing more hair might just mean you're becoming Asgardian."

Bruce kissed Sif's beautiful black hair. "Then it's decided. I must stay here. Wouldn't want to disappoint the King."

Sif giggled. "We mustn't do that."

xxxx

After a feast in the great hall with the king and queen in attendance, Thor gave Bruce then Sif a hug. "I'm returning to Misgard to prepare for my wedding. Are you sure about not returning?"

"Yes." Bruce felt Sif's small hand inside his large hand, holding his thumb and index finger. "Do you have the letters I wrote to the others?"

"Yes," said Thor. "The man of Iron will blame me for you not returning."

Bruce smiled up at Thor, not rising from his seat. "You're a big god. You can handle him."

Sif said, "We'll walk you to the gatehouse."

After letting go of Sif's hand, Bruce stood and hugged Thor. "Farewell."

xxxx

Thor waved good-bye to a very happy Bruce and Sif. Then he crossed the rainbow bridge. He ran all the way to Jane's lab to see her running outside to meet him. They hugged and kissed.

Then Jane said, "Where's Dr. Banner?"

"He decided to stay on Asgard," explained Thor. "We may be celebrating two weddings when we return to Asgard."

"Two weddings," said Jane. "I don't get it."

"Sif took one look at Bruce and it was love, and when she taught him how to use a spear like a proper Asgard warrior, he let her buy him boots." Thor remembered, watching Sif put the spear in Bruce's hands, showing him how to hold it and how to spear a beast through the heart. They were both smiling - beaming.

"Tony told me they were all arguing and, suddenly, Dr. Banner was holding Loki's spear," said Jane. "Scared Natasha nearly to death."

"Does Tony often tell you our battle plans?" Thor knew more about battle tactics then all of S.H.I.E.L.D. put together. And what went on in that room was secret. Then Tony did love talking.

"He didn't give out any secret codes or anything," said Jane. "And I work for S.H.I.E.L.D, too. In case, you forgot. It's just nice that Dr. Banner has his own spear now. Nothing against your brother, but his spear is a bit creepy. Anyway, Dr. Banner deserves some happiness."

"He found a woman who admires his brain and can handle his troll."

"Is the rainbow bridge safe?"

"Bruce felt a surge," Thor explained. "That caused him to change into the Hulk. As much as I want our wedding to be in Asgard, Bruce and Tony would tell me we need to collect more data."

"I'll risk it," said Jane. "If my heart stops, you do CPR."

"I want our wedding in Asgard, but it isn't worth the danger. We can have a nice wedding on Misgard with Darcy, Erik and all your other friends."

"You can use the Tesseract or some other means," Jane said, "I know you had your heart set on a royal wedding."

"The tesseract is too dangerous." Thor didn't care where he got married as long as it was to Jane. Then he had an idea. "I can take a lamb across, and if it dies, we feast. If it lives, we feast in Asgard."


	6. Chapter 6

"Sounds good." Jane didn't hunt for her food like Thor did back on Asgard. And having an animal, possibly, die in your arms while crossing the rainbow bridge wasn't something she would consider doing, but Thor didn't think like someone who bought her food in a supermarket. He would be the one holding the lamb and she couldn't argue with his logic.

Later that day, Thor was carrying a live lamb in his arms. Jane didn't ask where he got it. She hoped he paid the farmer for it and didn't steal the animal. When he came back a few hours later, he was pulling the live lamb on a leash toward Jane's trailer. "The lamb lives. The rainbow bridge is safe for mortals. Pack your bags. My mother has requested your presence before the wedding, so her handmaidens can design and fit your gown."

Jane teased, "Who am I to turn down the request of a queen?"

"Asgard's future queen," said Thor, then he kissed her hand.

"Did you pay for that lamb?" asked Jane.

"The Prince of Asgard is no thief," roared Thor.

"Then let's have a barbeque. I'll cook the lamb, but you have to butcher it." Jane smiled up at Thor. "Unless you want to tie it to a post, and we can feast in Asgard."

"We have boar, reindeer and mutton at an Asgard feast," said Thor. "One little lamb won't do. I'll prepare the lamb for my future warrior princess. We feast."

xxxx

"Where's Bruce?" Tony yelled, storming toward the front door of Jane's trailer.

"Hello, Friend Tony," said Thor.

"Don't give me that friend shit," said Tony. "Where is he?"

"He stayed in Asgard," said Thor. "He wrote you."

"I don't want his fucking letters," said Tony.

"You can't go," said Thor. "The bridge caused Bruce to change into the Hulk. That same surge will cause your arc reactor to fail and we don't have the technology on Asgard to fix it."

"Is Bruce OK?" Tony asked.

"He's happy. He's laughing, rolling in the mud, laughing. He's also in love. Read the letters." Thor put them out on an old picnic table in the trailer park near where Jane and a few of her friends were grilling the lamb.

Tony sat down with Thor and looked at the pile of letters. Didn't Bruce know how much Tony wanted him? OK, he never did more than kiss because Bruce didn't want the relationship to go further. Bruce said he couldn't have sex. How did he know when they never even tried? Now he was with some Asgard trollop. Let Bruce have a half-naked girl in chainmail. What did he care?

"Only three are written to you," said Thor. "He wrote one to Captain Rogers and one to Agent Romanoff."

Tony put the three letters addressed to him in a small pile in front of him. "You said there was some kind of surge. Can he return or not?"

"We, honestly, don't know," said Thor.

Tony, seeing a letter marked "Read first," ripped it open. Maybe, that letter would have some answers.

_Dear Heavy Metal Man,_

_Thor doesn't even know why I can't leave Asgard, but you have the right to know. My friends and I bathed in a hot spring after I wrestled a wild boar to the ground. Seeing it from a distance, I leaped on it, tackled it to the ground, and, while I still had my legs wrapped around its back, broke its neck. My friends, which are nearly as ugly as I am, cheered me on, yelling, "Troll, troll," as the mud and the whatever leaves and branches that were in my way went flying. Needless to say, I was more than a little covered in mud. While I was scrubbing the dirt off my body, Volstagg tells me I'm scrubbing the green right out of my skin. I looked at the places I rubbed the hardest and I was._

_I don't know for sure, but I'm probably leaking radiation. Traveling to Earth would be a death sentence for me, ever heard of Marie Curie? By the time you receive this letter being near me shouldn't be anymore dangerous than being near a cancer patient going through radiation treatment. However, it may be years before I'm free of the cancer risk caused by the gamma radiation in my blood. In a year or two, I shall visit you on Earth. Even then, I won't stay long because I can't succumb to radiation poisoning or get cancer while safe on Asgard._

_Your friend always,_

_Bruce_

"I didn't know." Tony opened another letter addressed to him this one was 3 pages long. Tony skimmed it. "He does sound happy. It sounds like they're making love every night. Good for him. I'll read this one in detail when I get home." Tony had Pepper in his bed, so why was he jealous that Bruce also found the love of a beautiful woman? Still looking at the letter, Tony exclaimed, "I knew they had porn on your world."

"Erotic poetry is not porn," insisted Thor.

"Whatever you say, Thunderpants," Tony said. "Why is he leaking radiation after being stable for so many years?"

"He has a good appetite, so I can only guess how many golden apples he ate. Those apples make us immortal and are full of healing properties," Thor explained. "Can't your doctors treat radiation poisoning?"

"Yes, they can, but the doctors would need to be in special suits to treat him and Bruce would be." Tony looked at Thor for a moment. "How do I say this? They would have to put him isolation until his radiation levels stabilized. Do you think they would let him out of that cage once he was quote better?"

Thor just looked at Tony.

"The arc reactor originally was killing me," Tony said. Simple words so Thor could understand. "So I have some idea what Bruce is going through. He has wanted to be healed of this for so long. Now he is healed and he would still be locked in a cage if he went home."

"He would appreciate your letters," said Thor. "I will need to give Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff their letters before I return to Asgard."

"I can do it."

Thor slid the two letters under his hand. "I prefer to deliver them myself."

"I need to read more of the two other letters, but it sounds like he has a skill that is needed by the community so he feels useful. Granted, killing a wild boar with his bare hands isn't healing sick children, but hunting is a good profession. More importantly, he has good friends and the love of a good woman," Tony said.

"Sif is a very good woman. I've known her since we were children."

"Thunderbolt, are you jealous?"

"No, I have Jane."

"Why didn't you ask Captain Rogers to go?" Tony asked. "He's too much of a boy scout to eat your stupid apples."

"He said, 'there is only one God,'" said Thor. "And Bruce is a scientist - much more open-minded. It made sense at the time."

Darcy came over. "Eric and Jane are roasting the lamb over an open fire. Get some pitas and we'll have some of the freshest shawarma ever."

Thor said, "Don't forget the cucumbers, lettuce and onions."

"Why do I get stuck shopping?" Darcy said.

"I butchered the lamb," said Thor. "You can help turn and season the steaks or you can go to the store."

"I'll go to the store," Darcy said, looking at the two men, sitting at the picnic table. "You would, probably, just clean out the poptart aisle."

Jane came over. "They can cook for awhile. Tony, I don't know Dr. Banner very well." Thor and Jane double-dated with Tony and Pepper quite often over the past few months. "But he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would enjoy using a chamberpot and sleeping on a straw mattress."

"You'd be surprised," said Tony. "He once told me if a place has indoor plumbing it's too close to civilization for him. I couldn't last a day there and I'm not talking about my heart-light."

"I plan to bring lots of books with me since Thor is going to be busy helping his Dad rule Asgard," Jane said, "Maybe, I should bring some books for Bruce, too."

Tony said, "He would like that."

"And tomato seeds," said Thor. "He wants to grow his own pizza."

Everyone but Thor laughed.

"Did I say something funny?" asked the Thunder God.

Darcy said, "I'm going to the store. That white pita sauce, onions, lettuce and cucumbers and pitas. More paper plates and cups. Thor likes to throw his cup when he's done."

"Bruce loves throwing his mug and plate after a feast," said Thor.

"That's because all men act like little boys when given the chance," said Darcy.


	7. Chapter 7

After all her bridesmaids were settled in, Jane went to Bruce's chamber to use the Geiger Counter on him. "You should be dead. I don't want to know what's inside you if you are emitting that much."

"Should you be around me?" asked Bruce still sitting on his mattress. His muscles were a bit smaller than the Hulk's since he stopped absorbing gamma radiation for about a month now, especially his arm, chest and shoulder muscles.

Jane reassured him. "I had a golden apple before coming here."

"Did Tony read the letters?" asked Bruce.

"Yes, and Steve and Natasha each wrote you letter. I even have one from Nick Fury." Jane gave him the three letters. No letter from Tony. "Darcy, Natasha and Pepper are here. I can have Nick Fury make a radiation suit your size. That way you can attend the wedding."

Bruce put the letters on the mattress. "Don't bother."

"Steve and Natasha are dating, believe it or not. Then again, Steve slept through the cold war."

Bruce smirked.

Jane laughed, too. "Steve is such a goody-goody and Natasha was an assassin. Then, again, little old me is marrying the future king of Asgard." Jane sat on the trunk beside the bed - a straw mattress lying on the floor. For a room in a palace, Bruce's room left much to be desired - a mattress, a table, a trunk, a bear skin rug and mirror and there was that indent in the wall shaped like Bruce's fist. Since Bruce was an expert at mediation and deep breathing, he must have been testing the wall strength. "Sif is a regular Xena. Then she would have to be to handle a giant in the bedroom. Don't let her boss you around too much unless you're into that kind of thing."

Bruce blushed.

"I'm sorry I didn't have better news for you. Think about the radiation suit. Thor and I want you to be there."

"Can I get back to you on the suit after I read Nick's letter?" asked Bruce.

"Just don't wait too long." Jane kissed his cheek.

Sif entered his chamber without knocking. "So you're inviting other women into your chamber."

"Jane was just asking me if I would like her boss to make me a suit, so I can attend the wedding without making the other Misgardians sick," Bruce explained.

"I think he should attend," said Jane.

"I agreed," said Sif. "So is Bruce radioactive?"

"I'm afraid so," said Jane. "He can't return to Misgard without protective gear and I don't know if his lack of symptoms are due to his healing ability, the apples or just being on Asgard. Therefore, I suggest whatever he is doing, he keeps doing it. I'm not the doctor; Bruce is. My field of study is astrophysics - planets, stars, galaxies - that kind of stuff."

Sif said, "Odin told him that if he goes to Misgard, he'll return to being the other guy."

"I'm not going to Misgard," said Bruce.

"Good," said Jane. "Because going to Misgard could kill you. Your tailor can give me the measurements I need for S.H.I.E.L.D."

"The day the green skin peeled off I was very sick," explained Bruce. "I told Sif I was dying. Well, I think I did; I was kind of out of it from the pain. She stayed with me all night. Then the following morning, I felt better."

"When I saw him curled up in a ball, winching in pain, I was so scared I was going to lose him," said Sif.

"I pulled through," said Bruce. "That's all that matters."

Jane kissed his cheek, again. "Honey, you take care. I'll be back with the protective gear."

Bruce said, "Did you bring the tomato seeds?"

After reaching into her pocket, Jane pulled out a bag of seeds. "I didn't forget."

Bruce put the seeds on his now very crowded table. "Thanks."

"Farewell, Bruce."

"Thanks, again, Miss Foster," said Bruce. "I mean Jane. It was nice seeing you, again."

xxxx

After Jane left, Sif kissed his cheek. "Your shyness is so endearing. Don't ever change."

"I should be more confident."

"Yes, you should. You've trained with the King's Men and Thor is the only one that can best you. And that is with thunder."

"Untrue. Thor has beaten me without using thunder."

"Still, you beat him in hand-to-hand more than half the time," said Sif. "And he is a trained warrior and you are not."

Bruce smiled thinking about training with Odin's men. "We are well-matched."

xxxx

_He could only beat the other men when doing hand-to-hand. With weapons, he got all tangled up, but if he dropped the weapon, he could beat any armed warrior. When he fought, even in mock battles, instinct took over and he was the Hulk. Since Bruce's intent was to get them off him and not to hurt them, all the other men received were a few bruises and a broken rib or two. Well, Bruce did pull someone's arm out of his socket, but that was only because that arm was holding a padded sword and the man in question refused to drop the weapon._

_After their sparring, Bruce had told the man with the dislocated shoulder, "I'm a doctor. I can pop it back in."_

_The man had screamed, "No," and ran away. However, two other men held the injured man down while Bruce reset his shoulder. Afterward, Bruce called it a day._

_His training with the King's Men had ended with Thor saying, "Bruce, I shall train thee on weapons."_

_"Alone?" Bruce had asked._

_"Private lessons."_

_The other men had cheered._

xxxx

His smile turned into a frown. He got being gentle so he doesn't break his pen or his mug, but when you fight or practice fighting you are suppose to give it your all or what was the point? He didn't mean to hurt anyone and Asgardians heal fast so no harm was done. And Thor told him not to go easy on his father's men. Then why did he feel so bad?

Sif put a hand on Bruce's face. "I'm going to escort Jane to the tailor. Then we can go hunting or we can look for a plot of land for you to build that dream house of yours."

Bruce pulled her into his arms for a real kiss then he said, "Sounds good." He stood, walked over to his table and took out his drawings of a round Celtic type house with a thatched roof. "I'm pretty good with a hammer and saw, but a house complete with furniture my size is more complicated than simple birdhouses and other therapeutic stuff."

Betty's psychiatrist boyfriend was the one who suggested the birdhouses. Why was he still upset that Betty had a boyfriend? He had a girlfriend now, besides Betty was ancient history. Then Betty was his first and only until Sif. Betty would always have a place in his heart. Tony had laughed when he found Bruce hammering away making a birdhouse. Bruce had explained that sometimes it feels good to hit something. If Tony could get drunk, Bruce could build useless items. Well, Tony didn't get drunk anymore. but he did before he started AA.

Sif waved good-bye to Bruce and blew him a kiss before leaving with Jane. Finally alone, Bruce went off to look at plots of land. All he took with him was his notebook, flags to mark his plot, matches and his spear. As long as he marked his plot, Heimdall would be able to find it, even if Bruce forget where it was. So he could chose any spot of the planet and as long as the corner markers stayed put.

In a palace hallway, Pepper yelled, "Bruce, stop."

Bruce kept walking, thinking about sleeping at the site of his future home until the wedding was over, but Jane would be disappointed in him. But, first, he would have to find a site to build his home. He walked past a few small villages and then found a spot just outside a village with enough trees to cut down for the lumber to build his house. Using some fallen branches and the flags he put in his pouch (man purse), he marked out his land with four red flags. He would need Thor's approval before he started building, but the land was flat enough for farming, the soil seemed good and it wasn't too close to another farm.

Looking at the sky, he realized it would be dark before he reached the palace. Although he didn't have a blanket, he cleared a spot of brush for a fire pit, killed a rabbit with his spear, then started a fire to cook his meat and warm himself by. Bruce slept soundly on the hard ground with his fire keeping the wolves and other animals away. Human animals wouldn't bother a sleeping giant and certainly not a sleeping giant with a spear. In the morning, he started the walk back.

Sif greeted him with, "Where were you?"

"I found a spot for my house," said Bruce. "I need to ask Thor for permission to build. I wouldn't want to accidentally cut down a royal forest."

"Now you're being sarcastic," said Sif.

"Did Jane get the measurements from the tailor?"

"All but your head," said Sif. "Why do you refuse to wear a helmet?"

"I'll show you why?" Bruce walked outside to a path near the waterfalls. Then he picked up a fairly good size boulder then hit his head with it. After two goes, the boulder split into three unequal parts then he smashed the smallest of the three rocks into peddles with his hand. Smiling at the rumble and the dust still in his hand, Bruce said, "Hulk smash."

"You're a bad as Volstagg."

"The Hulk spoke in third-person," Bruce explained. "I can break rocks with my head and my bare hands. Therefore, I wear armor because it shows stasis on this rock. I went around naked or nearly naked on Misgard."

"How did you crack that boulder so fast?"

"Every rock has a cleavage plane, even diamond. The first hit was to find the cleavage. The next hit I cracked it along the fissure. It's fairly easy to break any rock along the cleavage, not so easy along any other orientation." Bruce wiped the dust off his hands. "Science."

"If you are done breaking rocks with your head, I need to measure that big head of yours for Jane."

"No helmet," said Bruce. "I don't want a silly piece of metal on my head. It covers my silky brown hair."

Sif punched Bruce's shoulder, hurting her hand.


	8. Chapter 8

A month later, all the preparations for the wedding were done, including his radiation suit. Included with the protective gear was a letter asking Bruce to come back to Earth for some medical tests once his radiation levels were low enough that he wouldn't die soon after arriving on the planet. Bruce crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it into the fireplace. Thanks for the protective gear and the clothes to wear under it, but he wasn't anyone's guinea pig. Under this protective gear - a suit with gloves, boots and helmet - he had on jeans, a tee shirt and sweater. Nick even sent him boxer shorts his size. After the nightmare that was Stern, no one was running tests on him. However, Bruce wasn't going to turn down clothes that fit. In his protective gear, Bruce stood at the back of the hall during the wedding.

After it was over, Pepper walked over to him. "Tony told me you were radioactive. I'm so sorry."

"I can't go to the reception," said Bruce. "It's too dangerous."

"The bride and groom understand," said Pepper. "Are you going to get smaller once all the radiation is gone?"

Bruce said in a soft voice, "I'm losing muscle mass every day."

"You aren't green anymore," said Pepper. "That's a plus."

Bruce nodded.

"I'll see you around. We'll talk more when your levels are lower. I'll write, even if Tony doesn't."

"Thank you." After waving to Pepper, Bruce found Steve and Natasha exiting the great hall. Natasha was still in her bridesmaid's dress and Steve was wearing a Midgardian suit - black tie with black pants and jacket and a crisp white shirt. Since the groom wore his armor and red cape like always, Steve looked a bit overdressed.

Steve stood a bit away from Bruce. "Hi, how's it going?"

"Good. I don't change into the green guy anymore, so that's nice. I hate that I'm stuck here." Bruce liked it on Asgard, but Misgard had been his home and he missed it. He didn't miss people treating him like public enemy number 1. He did miss Tony who treated like a human being. "Jane must have told you if I go to Earth, I might die of ARS - Acute Radiation Syndrome. You missed Hiroshima."

"I can't see you under there," said Steve.

"I'm nothing to look at." Although Sif had said he was beautiful, Bruce didn't agree. However, it was his face, not the Hulk's face or Dr. Banner's face, a combination of the two like he was - his two separate identities blended. A face he could smile at and say to himself that's me. "Nat, is he treating you right?"

"Steve treats me like a lady, which I totally don't deserve," said Natasha.

"You totally deserve it," said Bruce. "What you didn't deserve was my little outburst on the helicarrier. I'm so sorry about that."

"I wasn't badly hurt," said Natasha. "Clint did worse. You weren't yourself then neither was Clint. Then again, Clint was trying to kill me and you were just scared and upset. You apologized in your letter. We need to move on."

"Speaking of Clint," said Bruce. "How is he?"

"He's good. I need to get back to the party." Natasha kissed Steve on the lips then went back into the great hall. Bruce still didn't know if Clint broke up with Natasha or, if Natasha broke up with Clint, all he knew now was Natasha didn't want to talk about it.

Steve said, "Let's go somewhere you can get out of that get up."

Bruce didn't want to make Steve sick. Then again, that supersoldier serum might give him some protection against radiation. "Are you sure?"

"Jane kissed you and she isn't throwing up or showing any other symptoms," Steve said. "Just to be on the safe side, I won't kiss you."

"Thanks." They walked to Bruce's chamber. Sitting on his mattress, he pulled off the boots to show his naked feet. Then he took off the rest of the protective gear and placed each piece, neatly folded, into his trunk.

"Where did you get the clothing?" asked Steve.

His tee shirt said "Property of S.H.I.E.L.D," so it should have been obvious. "Nick wants to examine me," said Bruce. "Going to Earth would kill me, besides I don't want anyone running tests on me after the Stern incident. So if Nick asked you to get a blood sample, you can leave now."

Steve showed Bruce his empty hands. "Where would I hide a syringe in this monkey suit?"

"I don't mean to sound paranoid."

"You've been though a lot." Steve and Bruce talked about old times and how the Avengers were managing without the Hulk. Steve told him they had some new Avengers to fill the gaps left by his absence and Thor dividing his time between Misgard and Asgard. Bruce was excited to hear about these new Avengers abilities.

After Steve left, Bruce changed into his armor, got his axe then started the long walk to his building site. He cleared his land until dark then ate a meal he hunted himself then did the same the next day. On the third day, Sif joined him. After greeting him with a long messy kiss, Sif said. "Heimdall told me where you were."

"I can't hide from a man that can find a flea on any of the nine realms."

"Why are you hiding?" asked Sif.

"I could have made Pepper and Natasha sick," said Bruce. "I've killed enough people. They should have left by now, so it's safe to go back to the palace to get more building supplies. I'll have to load a wheelbarrow with a hammer, saw, nails, bolts, rope." Bruce paused a second, thinking about the plans he wrote. He had picture upon picture - detailed blueprints with footnotes. "My complete list of building supplies is in the notebook. I should have taken more than my axe with me."

"We can walk back together," said Sif.

"You can push the wheelbarrow then," teased Bruce.

Sif took his hand. "We can take turns."

Bruce bent down to kiss her. "Fair enough."


	9. Chapter 9

Thor and Jane spent six months on Asgard and six months on Midgard, spending the summer and fall on Asgard and the winter and spring in Midgard. That way they would be on Asgard when Odin needed Thor most. That first fall, Sif moved into Bruce's new house. Since no one wanted to buy Bruce's tomatoes, they canned his tomatoes, then when the snow was too deep to open the door, they ate stewed tomatoes.

That spring, some of the neighbor's children came to watch the giant plow and sow his fields. As the crowd grew, a few of the children helped Bruce plant his crops. One child would tell the next group. "He's a friendly giant."

That fall, they sold their wheat as a cash crop and still canned the tomatoes for the winter. As the nights got longer, two of their neighbors came to visit. The husband said, "We never had a giant for a neighbor before."

Bruce made pizza for their neighbors and they soon had more neighbors visiting. Some even asked him to make smaller versions of his furniture. They never saw a shellac table that was cut cross-section to show the rings. All Bruce's furniture was natural wood with shellac. Some pieces like his desk and favorite chair still had bark from the original tree. The furniture soon was making more money than the wheat and it gave Bruce something to do during the winter months when the fields were covered in snow.

While Bruce was in his workshop hammering a table together, someone knocked on his door. More like banged loudly a lot. Finally, Bruce put down the hammer and opened the door.

"Hello," said Bruce.

"My, you are big," said the gentleman in furs. "We were told that you live here."

"And?" asked Bruce.

"There's a dragon," said the man.

"Is the dragon harming you? Or eating your sheep? If not, leave me and him alone." Bruce didn't need to growl or flex his muscles to look scary. His size alone was enough and his deep threatening voice helped.

"He didn't eat my sheep, but there is smoke in the distance," said the man.

Bruce put his bear skin cloak on over his shoulders. Then he slid his fur-lined winter boots on. "We should tell my wife. She's killed dragons before." Bruce walked over to his house and went inside. "This man has dragon trouble. I think we should check it out."

Sif got dressed for the cold and grabbed her spear. "Bruce, don't bother getting a weapon. Just grab the bugger by its tail and thump it a few times. It will get the message that there is better pickings elsewhere."

Bruce said to the man. "Lead the way."

The man and Sif got onto the horse and Bruce followed making giant-sized footprints in the snow. He soon lost them, but he could see the fire in the distance and smell the smoke. The fire went out before he got there because the snow was putting out the flames. When he got closer, he could see that one farmhouse was burned to the ground and the dragon was busy eating some roasted mutton. Bruce hoped the people got out safe.

Bruce walked over to Sif. "Now what?"

"It isn't going to be shooed off while eating," said Sif. "We can watch it and hope it had its full and returns to its cave or we can kill it to keep it from destroying more homes."

The man who brought Sif here had already taken off on his horse, leaving them to deal with the dragon alone.

"I'm going to check on the families nearby," said Bruce.

"When they see you coming, they'll run and hide."

Bruce looked at himself dressed in a combination of Misgard and Asgard fashion. "I don't look like a mountain giant and I'm certainly not a frost giant." Bruce walked over to a neighboring farm and knocked on the door. "Hi, I'm Bruce Davidson; I trained with the King's champions. I suggest you leave. We're trying to contain the dragon."

The man of the house said, "Take the children and go. I'm going to stay and fight."

His wife kissed him then bundled up herself and the children. "We're going to my aunt's house."

"Do you know what happened to your neighbors?" asked Bruce.

"They may have taken their carriage," said the man. "They said nothing to me."

Followed by the neighbor, Bruce returned to the burnt-down remains of the farmhouse. "Be careful all the melted snow is turning into ice. It makes for slippery conditions."

Inside the barn was two dead cooked horses and the charred remains of a carriage. A man was lying on the ground near the horses. It looked like he was trying to hitch his horses to his carriage when the smoke got too much for him. Where was his wife?

The dragon was still too busy munching on mutton to notice them.

Walking over to Sif, Bruce said, "We have to put the dragon down, it killed, at least, one person. It could kill, again."

"You've killed a lot more than one person," said Sif. "Maybe, we should put you down."

"I'm not a dragon," said Bruce.

"I'm teasing," explained Sif. "It saw the sheep and it's only doing what comes naturally. If it flies away, we can't exactly chase after it."

After walking over to a dead horse, Bruce plucked out an eyeball and ate it. Then, using his dagger, he cut off the horse's ear and sat to eat.

Sif walked over to him. "You're no better than the dragon."

Taking Sif's spear, he cut some flesh off the leg. "You can babysit the dragon. I'm going to have some barbeque." He threw Sif's spear onto the icy ground, cracking the ice. Then he sat on the cold ground and returned to eating.

The dragon, finally, looked at Sif.

She poked it with her spear. "Shoo!" Then she yelled. "Bruce, this would be a good time to help."

After standing up, Bruce leaped over to the dragon and grabbed its tail. He smashed it into the icy ground a few times then the dragon turned. Bruce jumped onto the dragon's back while Sif poked it with the spear. He rode on the dragon, punching it while it tried to shake free of Bruce. Not wanting to get too high up to leap off safely, Bruce jumped off the back. The neighbor was also attacking the dragon with his sword.

Bruce roared as he leaped into the air to grab the dragon by the tail, again. Sif and the farmer backed away as Bruce bashed the dragon into the rock-hard frozen ground. When the tail stopped moving, Bruce let go of the dragon. "I think I killed it."

Sif looked over the dragon and kicked it. "It's dead."

Bruce said to the farmer, "It's safe to go home now."

"You really trained with the King's champions?" asked the farmer.

"One day," said Bruce. "I hurt a few of the warriors while sparring. I can control my strength when I'm doing carpentry or farming, but I haven't really mastered the art of sparring. Loki said I was a monster playing at being a man."

Sif said, "Loki is the King of Lies."

"That was pretty spot on." Bruce touched his cloak made from a bear he killed single-handed, noticing it was splattered by dragon's blood. "Let's go home. I have a table to finish."

After they said goodbye to the farmer, Sif asked, "Are you happy with your life?"

"Yes, I like where I am now. I have a beautiful wife who is terrified of dragons..."

Sif interrupted, "That isn't fair."

"You told me you killed a dragon before."

"Not alone," Sif admitted.

"Is dragon good eats?"

"This from a man who eats eyeballs and horse ears."

"I prefer my eyeballs raw," Bruce teased. "That was a bit well-done for me. I was on the run for years. Ate whatever I could get. I'm not very fussy when it comes to food or clothes."

"You go home and wash your cloak," said Sif. "I'll get a wagon and collect the dragon meat. You could make a nice cloak from the dragon scales."

The hem of the bear skin cloak was at his waist. It would be nice to have a cloak that went to all the way to his ankles. 'We'll butcher the dragon together." Bruce could use the bear fur to trim the dragon scale cloak. That way it would look pretty and keep him warm.

"You have to admit that this is more fun than being in a boring lab doing medical research."

xxxx

Author's Note: In Bizarre Foods, Andrew Zimmern eats eyeballs. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.


	10. Chapter 10

When Jane and Thor arrived for their six month visit, Jane dropped off the carpentry books Bruce asked for - one on cabinet making and another on tables and chairs. Jane said, "You aren't reading the science books I gave you."

Although it was a statement of fact and not a question, Bruce said, "I don't have the interest." Bruce looked at the book covers before putting them on his bookshelf. "Now I won't have reinvent the wheel."

Thor said, "My mother wishes to speak to you." Thor's mother, Frigga, had rebuilt the rainbow bridge, weaving it out of stardust. She was the most powerful sorceress on Asgard and she granted less audiences than her husband, the King. She was the one who collected Loki from the Isle of Silence so Bruce could have the opportunity to speak to him then she was the one to return Loki the next day.

Bruce kissed Sif's cheek. "You watch the farm and take any orders for furniture while I'm gone. I can't keep the Queen waiting."

While Bruce was still bent down, Sif threw her arms around him for a proper hug. "Hurry home."

After their walk to the palace, Frigga met them in a palace garden. "Please, sit," she said.

Bruce sat on the ground near her feet.

"Bruce, you have powerful magic," said Frigga. "Then you know this. Back on Misgard, you were drawn to Loki's sword. You went from being two people, Dr. Banner and the Hulk, to one person by force of will. Then you stopped translating Norse into your native tongue because you wanted to hear the rhyme and meter of Norse poetry."

Bruce didn't become who was now by force of will; it was an accident caused by the rainbow bridge. However, he knew better than to contradict the Queen of Asgard. He thought back to Odin's words. "Will I change back to Dr. Banner if I return to Misgard?"

"Only if you want to," said Frigga.

"I don't," Bruce said simply.

"Then you won't. Magic is traditionally the providence of women. However, I can't take your magic away from you anymore than I can make your brown eyes blue. Since you no longer collect gamma radiation, your body needs the physical labor that you get from farming and carpentry." explained Frigga. Needs. Did she mean without physical outlets his behavior would become more Hulk-like? "Thus, you cannot dedicate your time solely to learning magic. Still you must be properly taught."

"I am at your service." Bruce didn't know how much of his behavior - internal and exterior - was from Dr. Banner's or the Hulk's personalities since he couldn't step outside the equation. That being said, he knew the timid scientist would be sicked by the joy he received from killing prey with his bare hands, which contrasted with his detailed blueprints that included mathematical equations most people couldn't do with a calculator (let alone by hand).

"I can send a sorceress to your house to teach you by candlelight," said Frigga. "The young lady I send shall have to live in your house. Prepare for her arrival."

"I'll build her her own house, if it is all the same to you. I'm a very private person." Bruce didn't want a stranger in his house and Sif wouldn't approve of another woman staying with them. However, he needed to abide by the Queen's wishes.

"As you wish," said Frigga. "Farewell, Bruce. My son, take him to the Great Hall and see he is refreshed."

"Yes, Mother," said Thor.

With a wave of a hand, Thor and Bruce were dismissed. Still at Frigga's feet, Bruce bent his head to kiss Frigga's hand. Before they had done eating, Thor had convinced a group of men to help Bruce build a sorceress's cottage on his property. With the main house, the smokehouse, the workshop already on his property; another house would make a fourth building. Also she would need a stable for her horse.

While Bruce was writing the plans, Sif asked, "What did Frigga want?"

"She is sending a sorceress to teach me magic," explained Bruce, not looking up from his writing. "We need to get her house done as quickly as possible because these men have their own families to return to. Since the sorceress will need a horse, you can share a stable."

Sif hugged him. "Thank you."

The cottage and stable were completed in two days time with Sif moving her horse into the stable as soon as it was completed. When Jane arrived by horse without Thor, Jane asked, "May I stay at the guest house?"

"I'll stay in the guest house," said Sif. "You and Bruce will be talking quantum gravity, wormholes, and quasars. And I'm going to be making food. Bruce can make his own food."

"Tony still supports string theory to spite Hank's latest research." Jane watered and feed her horse in the new stable. "Hank's Pym particles connect the big to the small. He can't make that man see that gravitons are zero-dimension particles like photons, quarks and electrons. No branes or superstrings needed."

"Not to mention, 11 or more dimensions?" Bruce didn't enter the stable although the ceiling was high enough. He liked string theory as a construct, but either dimensions existed like the normal four - three dimensional space and time - or they didn't, saying they were too curled up to affect realty was like having your cake and eating it, too. "Either they are real dimensions or they don't exist. You can't have it both ways."

"You should see Hank and Tony fight." Jane gave her horse a pat before locking the mare in the stall with Sif's horse. "They should sell tickets, but they would need captions for the scientifically illiterate."

"I'm glad to see Tony has a new science bro."

Jane walked over to Bruce. "Science rival. Hank is into Entomology and Tony is a total germ phobe that needs everything placed in front of him. You hand him something and he goes into a panic. Tony thinks the only good bug is a dead bug and that goes over real well with Hank."

Bruce smiled as he started walking back to the main house.

After taking one last glance at the new stable, Jane walked beside him. "Thor tells me that my mother-in-law thinks you have magic."

"I don't believe in magic," Bruce marked out all this land because he didn't want his neighbors too close. Now he was glad for the space. "Everything can be explained by science."

"This said by someone that was cursed for over a decade," Jane said, "who had their curse broken by eating magic apples. Excuse me while I die of laughter."

Sif hugged Bruce. "I'll be in the guest house, if you need me." Then she left the two scientists alone to enter the main house.

After letting Jane inside, Bruce walked toward the kitchen. "I'll make pizza." He put salt, water, flour and a bit of active yeast in a bowl then mixed it until it was firm enough to knead. Then he put the ball of dough on the table. "I had a medical condition. I was not cursed."

"Medical condition, cursed?" said Jane. "You're mincing words."

"If I could have stopped being the Hulk by force of will, don't you think I would have done it long before coming here?"

"The Hulk followed orders when you battled Loki. He even went out of his way to save Tony, leaping off a building and cradling Tony in his arms to reduce the impact of the fall. Each time out you had let the Hulk out, he became smarter and smarter. You said when he first appeared he didn't talk. Then single words then two-word sentences. He was slowly becoming you."

Bruce talked while kneading the dough. "Tony said I would be happier if I let the other guy play. He didn't say Dr. Banner would cease to exist."

"Dr. Banner exists. He was going to lecture me on multiple dimensions, but I stopped him."

"You see Dr. Banner when you look at me?"

"How can you even ask that?" Jane stared up at Bruce bent over a table designed for Sif's height.

Bruce just grunted.

"You're a brilliant man." Jane sat in a chair. "Do you think many people on Midgard without books or other reference materials could figure out how to build a house? A house with a living room, kitchen and bedroom. Most people would be happy with a cottage."

"Big deal." Bruce banged the dough good then turned it.

"You wanted pizza, so you asked Thor to get you tomato seeds. And we're having pizza on another planet."

"Then why haven't I read those books you gave me?"

"Because you're too busy living your life. Do you want me to knead the dough for awhile?"

Bruce continued to knead. "The Hulk needs to smash."

"Don't let mother-in-law dearest get to you." Jane walked over to Bruce and put a hand on his back. "She doesn't think I'm good enough for her son. She wanted to give me some crazy test before the wedding, but Odin stopped her then she treated my bridesmaids like they were servants."

"And Natasha didn't kill her."

"Natasha? Darcy threatened to taze the old biddy. Natasha had to hold Darcy down."

Bruce smiled. "You're making this up."

"I'm not kidding. Natasha took her tazer away and didn't give it back until after the fitting. Darcy was pouting the whole time."

Bruce put a bowl over the dough ball. "We need to let it rest for at least an hour. Then we'll roll it out and add my tomato sauce and some reindeer cheese. We can also sprinkle on cured dragon meat. It's the closest thing I have to pepperoni. Don't make a face."

Jane was still making a yuck face. "Dragon?"

"I had to build a smokehouse to cure the damn stuff. And that was only one dragon."

xxxx

Author's Note: My brother is a theoretical physicist. He believes all dimensions are a mathematical construct. When I asked him to explain what he meant, it only confused me more. I feel Bruce would agree with string theory in concept because it explains the universe better than any other current theory.


	11. Chapter 11

Months went by without a sorceress arriving at the farmhouse; then again, she, probably, wouldn't arrive until late fall after crops were harvested and sent to market. One day, the sorceress, finally, arrived. Bruce greeted her. "Hello, the Queen told me to expect you. This is my lovely wife, Sif."

"I'm Elga," said the young woman, wearing a fur-trimmed cloak over her leather pants and linen blouse. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties then, this being Asgard, she may have been hundreds of years old. "Shall I come in?"

"Please, do," said Sif.

Elga enter the house and walked toward the fireplace but did not take a seat. "Bruce, I do not know how much you know of Asgard culture, but sorcery is considered woman's work. I shall teach enough that you do not harm yourself or others: no more. The only other male to study magic was also born from giants."

"Loki Laufeyson," Bruce sat by the fire on a bear skin rug with his wife joining him to sit on his lap. "Ah. Please, sit. I'm only half-giant; my mother was mortal."

Elga sat one of three normal-sized chairs in the curved room.

Resting against her husband, Sif said, "We had a guest cottage build for you. During the winter months, my husband spends most of his time in the workshop. He shall teach you carpentry in trade for you teaching him magic. I shall also expect you to help with the meals unless you plan to eat alone."

"You are most gracious," said Elga.

"When your elegant hands are covered with callouses and blisters you shall not say that," said Sif. "I suspect you shall come to hate me. You may be sent by the Queen to instruct my husband, but I'm mistress of house and you shall obey me."

Placing his arms around Sif, Bruce smiled with the understanding that Sif was laying down the law because she didn't want Elga to believe would be getting sexual favors from her pupil. Some of poems about sorceresses were quite pornographic and Elga wasn't to get the wrong idea.

While working in Bruce's workshop, Elga always treated Bruce with cautious respect. For days, she stood around while Bruce told her not to touch anything - just watch. Finally, Bruce moved her hand under his showing her the correct motion for sanding. Elga asked, "May I get to my own spinning?"

"Please, do," said Bruce, letting go of her hand. "You can instruct me in the evenings. Sif shall approve of us spending less time together. What she won't approve of is you using your spinning to get out of your household chores."

Elga swallowed.

"Why did you fear my wife more than I?" asked Bruce.

"Your wife is one of the few women to join the men in battle," explained Elga. "To be allowed into such a group, she must be fiercer than the men. I don't want to be blunt, but to handle a giant in the bedroom. I hurt just thinking about it."

Bruce nodded. "Go to your spinning."

That evening, while Bruce was rereading the letters Jane dropped off, he overheard Elga talk to Sif. "Your husband is extremely bright, more intelligent than Loki. And he isn't yet fifty. So young. But he doesn't have any magic. Frigga isn't wrong about these things, so she sees something I don't. Since your husband doesn't believe in magic and I've watched him for a week and witnessed no spontaneous magic, I'm going to go. I'm sorry for any inconvenience." Elga walked over to Bruce still sitting in his favorite chair. "I spoke to your wife."

Bruce said, "I heard."

"I'm leaving in the morn," said Elga.

"Would you like some dragon jerky for your trip?" Bruce smiled. "Please, take as much as you like."

"Load me up," said Elga. "Even if it tastes like leather, it will make a great souvenir. When I can tell people I evaluated a giant, I can give them a slice of jerky."

Sif said, "We had dragon steaks, then ate it in stews and ground it up for pies and casseroles. We even sold a lot of it when it was fresh. Made a good amount of gold. There isn't much of it left, but it's yours."

Elga's eyes got wide. "Bruce killed a dragon."

Sif said, "A farmer and I poked it while Bruce slammed it into the icy rock-hard ground until it was a broken mess."

"As in picked in up and smashed it into the ground?" asked Elga.

Bruce nodded.

"How big was this dragon?" asked Elga.

"Pretty big," said Sif.

"You aren't going to stay now?" asked Bruce.

"I'm not. It took three people to kill this dragon. Nothing to write home about. Bruce, I hope you have a long healthy life here on Asgard." Elga hugged Bruce then Sif.

After Elga left, Sif said, "That's the last of the dragon meat."

Bruce said, "What was all that about?"

"Heimdall wouldn't spy for Frigga," said Sif. "You're an outsider and you're nearly as brilliant as Jane. And you know how much Frigga hates Jane. Jane has a big palace to live in and she rather come here than share a roof with Frigga."

"Not true. Jane visits to drop off my mail from Misgard and to pick up the letters I'm sending to Misgard. She also likes talking science to me. She studies the very big while I was more interested in the very small. Misgard science still hasn't bridged the gap between big and small, giving us a theory on everything. Hank Pym seems to have bridged it. I wrote him a long letter and am waiting for his reply."

"Jane said your readings were low enough for you to visit Misgard."

"My best friend has his girlfriend write me," said Bruce. The letters were signed Tony and Pepper. "I wasn't an Avenger for very long, but they accepted me as one of their own. Thor is the only Avenger that isn't a mental case. I fitted right in."

"Did you just call Thor sane?"

Bruce smiled. "Don't tell him."


	12. Chapter 12

The day, finally, came that Bruce decided to journey to Midgard with his friends. Soon after Jane's van pulled up to Tony's Malibu mansion, Jane called on her him on her cellphone. "We made it."

Tony said, "I can see you from the window."

"Are you and Pepper still not married?" asked Jane.

"You know it," said Tony.

Pepper stole the phone. "He won't ask me."

"Then you need to pop the question," said Jane. "This isn't the 1940's. I hope you have high ceilings because I have a very excited giant in my back."

"We can sit on the back porch," said Pepper. "What's his Geiger counter readings?"

"They're good," said Jane. "Last year, we could have came. His readings were acceptable, but you know Bruce - he wants much lower than acceptable. You'd get more radiation from using your cellphone."

xxxx

Tony grabbed the phone from Pepper. "Let me talk to him. I have a better idea." Tony put the phone in his pocket and ran to the white van.

While Jane and Thor were exiting the front seat, Bruce opened the back door from the inside and let himself out. His hair had grown since Tony had seen him and he also had facial hair - wild thick brown hair that looked like he didn't do more than comb once in a while. His skin was tanned with a few small freckles. His muscles were firm like one would expect from someone who worked outdoors, but nowhere near Hulk huge. The strangest of all was this huge man was in shorts and a tee-shirt. No shoes. He hugged Tony, picking up off the ground as he did. "It's been too long."

"Bruce, put me down."

"I didn't think this day would come." Bruce set Tony's feet on the ground.

Jane said, "He has this microscope in his house that he build himself and Bruce and I talk science while Thor and Sif relive the battles of their younger days. He, sometimes, says 'I wish Tony could see this.'"

"Did you build the house or the microscope?" asked Tony.

"Both. You would know that if you read all the letters I gave Jane to deliver." Bruce crossed his arms over his broad chest and stared at Jane.

"I gave him the letters." Jane stared back. "I can't force him to read them."

Bruce said, "Tony, did you read the letters?"

"Some of them," Tony admitted. "I get busy."

"You're busy?" Bruce said like he didn't believe him. "Jane and Thor are expecting their first. Sif and I are also talking children. Talking - she still makes me wear a condom. I'm not that I'm in a great rush to become a father, but I would like our children to grow up together. And you and Pepper still haven't tied the knot, yet."

"Some of us don't have a friend who is a prince and have to work," said Tony.

"I work. I hunt and take care of my fields - alone - I might add." Bruce down cross-legged on the path leading to Tony's house. "I no longer collect gamma radiation when angry; therefore, I've worked for these muscles. And I'm hurt that you don't read my letters. I read every word you wrote me. Some over and over."

Tony put a hand on Bruce's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"You went about your life and forgot about me." Bruce stood up and started walking back to the van.

Pepper said, "Bruce, stay. I've read all the letters you addressed to both of us. I care about you. Tony can be a jerk sometimes."

"Alone?" asked Tony.

"I cleared my field without oxen. Read my letters; it's all there." Bruce picked up Tony, again, and rubbed a fingertip through Tony's hair while holding his squirming body with the other arm. "You live with your computers and your nice cars. And I sleep on a straw mattress and plow my own fields. Thor is my friend, but I haven't lived in the palace for years."

"I said I was sorry," yelled Tony. "Just don't drop me."

"Drop you? You're lucky I don't throw you." Bruce put Tony down gently. "I no longer turn into a raging beast, but I'm not someone you want to trifle with. Thor saw you read the letter about me killing a boar. You know what I'm capable of. Don't upset me."

Pepper said, "Bruce, was that necessary?"

"No." Bruce smiled. "But I feel a lot better and it's more satisfying than sitting in locus position, trying to smile with my whole body from my hair to my toes. Have you ever seen smiling hair?"

Pepper said, "Can't say I have."

Jane smiled then said, "I'm in the mood for pizza. Bruce makes the best pizza on Asgard. He grows all his own wheat and he has rows and rows of perfect tomatoes in his garden. However, Asgardians haven't really discovered the concept of adding spice to their meats. And I could go for some pepperoni."

"We salt our meats," said Thor.

"See," said Jane. "Salt is not a spice."

"I'll be right back. Farewell." Using his hammer to fly, Thor left and was soon out of visual range.

"I wonder where he's off to," said Tony. "'Let's feast' are his two favorite words."

Bruce said, "Those are my two favorite words."

xxxx

While Thor was gone, Steve and Natasha Rogers arrived at the mansion with 1 year old Howie. The adults sat around the pool to eat pizza while the baby sat in his mother's lap and chewed on a crust.

Steve said, "Bruce, I wanted to thank you in person for giving me the supersoldier formula. You've really been stable for over 3 years?"

"I'm one person now," said Bruce. "The golden apples worked. If I was going to revert back to Banner, I would have done so already. I seem to have a bit of the Hulk and Banner in me as crazy as that sounds."

Tony said, "You do have Banner's brown eyes."

"Jane says your radiation levels are normal," said Pepper. "You're free to stay here as long as you like."

"Thanks for the offer," said Bruce. "But I have a business to manage and a wife. I know a small farm is nothing compared to Stark Industries, but it's mine."

xxxx

Thor returned with Sif hanging over his shoulder. After leaping off Thor's back, Sif ran over to Bruce, hugged him then whispered in his ear. "I forget to pack the condoms."

Bruce smiled.

"What did she say?" asked Steve.

"That_ The Three Amigos_ are watching the house." Bruce lied. Actually, his neighbors would be watching his house. Not that there was anything to watch. The wheat had be sold and everything else stored for the winter - safe in the root cellar. The neighbors loved him because he gave them fresh meat when the snow was over three feet deep and he prevented a dragon from getting to their farms. "And they are going to do to my house what I did to Harlem. Oh well, I can always build another one."

"That's a movie with Donald Duck," said Steve. "No, that was _The Three Caballeros_."

Natasha squeezed his hand. "_The Three Amigos_ starred Chevy Chase."

"I knew it was a movie," said Steve. "One point for me."

Arriving fashionably late to the party was a middle-aged man holding the hand of a much younger woman. They must have had access codes to Tony's front gate. The eight months Bruce lived at Stark Tower Tony never gave Nick Fury the code to the mansion or to the upper floors of Stark tower for that matter. After getting up from his lounge chair, Tony walked over to the couple. "This is Henry (Hank) Pym and his lovely associate, Janet van Dyne." said Tony. "Hank, Janet, this is Bruce and his wife, Sif."

"As in Dr. Bruce Banner?" asked Janet van Dyne.

Bruce growled softly.

"Bruce has been living on Asgard for over 3 years and no longer uses his surname," explained Jane Foster.

Bruce spoke in Norse, which resembled Norwegian as closely as Latin spoken on another world for a thousand would resemble Spanish or Italian, to Sif and Jane.

Sif replied back in Norse.

"Speak English," yelled Hank Pym.

"Sorry," said Bruce. "My wife doesn't speak English. You're the man who can shrink things. I like being the size I am. My psychologist would tell me to smile at my reflection in the mirror. I couldn't do it without laughing and gave up after the second try. The morning after I thought I was dying of ARS I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Really smiled."

"When I thought I was dying, I took a long hard look at myself," said Tony.

Jane said, "This isn't about you."

Pepper then said, "It's always about Tony. The world revolves around Tony. You should know that by now."

Tony said, "Hank, if it isn't too much trouble you could enlarge some clothes, so Bruce has something to wear while he's washing the clothes he's currently wearing. Everyone here but you, Janet and the infant has seen Bruce naked a bit too often."

Janet looked Bruce over from head to toe. "I wouldn't mind seeing him naked. Is your one-eyed wonder snake as big as the rest of you?"

Bruce blushed then whispered something to his wife.

"Janet, some decorum," said Hank.

Janet cooed, "Hank, you're all the man I need."

The end

xxxx

Author's Note: Thanks for all the support. Also, please tell me if I should write a pre-sequel about those eight months Bruce spent in Stark Towers or, at least, part of those eight months. Jane had mentioned Bruce letting the Hulk out more and the Hulk getting smarter. Bruce also talked about not being able to smile in the mirror. I hate writing earlier stuff because I know that what will happen, but my muse only came up with that story while I was writing this one. It would be a Bruce/Tony fan fiction with Tony wanting more and Bruce not seeing it.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: I hate ending the story on Chapter 13, but this chapter is a happy one with Susanne seeing Bruce, again, after so many years. It also ties _Troll_ with _Three Faces of Bruce_.

xxxx

Three years passed without hearing anything. Susanne knew that the Hulk was no longer one of the Avengers. Bruce's high temperature superconductor had changed the electronics industry and made electric cars more cheaper to own then gasoline-powered ones, totally changing the auto industry.

But not a call, not a letter, then one day, Tony's cell phone rang. A deep voice said, "Hi, Susanne."

"Hulk?" asked Susanne.

"It's Bruce. I've integrated," he explained. "I'll met you outside your office. I'm in the area."

They met outside her office. Susanne yelled, "Oh my God! Bruce, is that you?" He was the same height as the Hulk, but he had Bruce's coloring and didn't have the Hulk's muscles. His muscles were far leaner; he looked like a man who did physical labor for a living with his lean strong muscles.

Bruce, wearing jeans, a black tee shirt and wire-framed glasses, picked her up and hugged her. "Do have any other nine foot tall clients? Don't answer that - therapist/client confidentiality." His feet were bare.

"You look amazing," said Susanne. "How did it happen?"

"I ate magic apples," said Bruce. "It wouldn't have happened no matter how many apples I ate if you didn't give me a strong foundation. I do carpentry now."

"Carpentry?"

Bruce put Susanne down. "I wasn't going to find a ready-made house my size, so I built one from the root-cellar up. Then I had to build furniture to suit my stature. After my wife and I had the neighbors' visit, people started asking me to build scaled-down versions of my furniture. Now I can't keep up with the demand."

"How does Tony feel about you having a wife?"

"He has Pepper."

Susanne looked up at Bruce's face. "That good?"

"He refused to write me. I couldn't return to Earth after I ate those apples. The radiation inside my body would have killed me. Thor and Jane split their time between Earth and Asgard, so they kept me abreast of everything happening on Earth."

"And you didn't think to write me?"

"If I wrote you, it would have ruined the surprise of seeing me whole."

"I would invite you to have lunch with me but you wouldn't fit in the door."

"Also I'm banned from your building." Bruce smiled. "Isn't mutant rights covered under the ADA? I'll have to ask Dr. McCoy. We'll just have to sit outside."

"I'll get a blanket and the sandwiches and we'll eat at Central Park," said Susanne. "You won't seen so big when we are both sitting down. How many sandwiches can you eat?"

"Jane bought me 3 foot-longs from Subway when we were traveling cross-country in her van. Since I'm a normal giant now, I actually eat less because my metabolism is no longer fucked. As you can see I have good muscle tone, but I'm no body builder."

"They wouldn't have electric saws on Asgard?"

"No, and I have to chop my own trees for lumber. I stay in shape. Being here is fucking amazing," Bruce gushed. "Pepper wrote me that my conductor made gasoline-powered cars a thing of the past, but to see city streets filled with electric cars and to ride in an electric-powered van. Tony kept my name on the patent. He says he has hundreds of patents and I only have one."

"Bruce, it is so good to see you happy. When are you returning to Asgard?"

"In two days. However, if my wife gets pregnant, we'll be here for the pregnancy and post-natal care. People don't get Earth illness on Asgard, but women do die in childbirth. When I explained that a non-mutant woman had eight babies and lived to tell about it, Sif decided we would have the baby here. Nadya Suleman isn't a mutant?"

Susanne smiled. "It wouldn't surprise me if she was. What is Sif like?"

"She's beautiful, funny and can do roundhouse kicks that would make Xena jealous. She's a goddess and she thinks I'm beautiful." Bruce smiled.

After they were laying on a blanket in Central Park, actually, Bruce was lying down with his feet in the air and Susanne was sitting up. A woman said, "Children, don't stare at the giant."

Resting on his elbows, Bruce said, "Hi. You can stare. I was just hired to teach at a private school. I'm sure my students will be asking me embarrassing questions."

"Cool," said one of the children, before their mother or guardian pulled them away.

Bruce took a bit of his sandwich. After he finished chewing, he said, "The first time I got angry and felt my rage and let it pass was amazing. I put a hole in the wall with my fist then I felt stupid for letting my rage get the best of me and did a relaxation exercise."

"How did that feel?"

"I knew I couldn't turn into the Hulk because I was the Hulk. I ran to my room because I didn't want Thor to see me angry. Feeling my adrenaline kicking in for the first time in over a decade like a normal person wasn't surreal and anger doesn't feel good. After I got over the anger, I was smiling because Sif, a goddess, had kissed me."

"Continue," said Susanne.

"I always hoped I'd be cured, but when I saw the world through the Hulk's eyes, I got scared. I have a normal life now with the same highs or lows as anyone else and to think if Thor didn't ask me to go to Asgard, I wouldn't be here," said Bruce.

"Tony was right about you wanting to kill yourself," said Susanne.

Bruce nodded.

"Did you think the whole thing was a set up from Thor to keep you alive for a few more days?"

"Thor would never admit it," said Bruce. "It's possible. After you disconnected from the session when I talked about the accident, Tony said the reason the others worry about my emotions is because I tried to take my life. For someone so smart, how could I be so dumb?"

"Because you're the person who kept his adrenaline in check every second of every day," said Susanne. "You were so aware of it that you assume everyone else shares your awareness. It must be great to not have to check your pulse and worry if something will get you too excited."

"I now have to be aware of my every movement." Bruce smiled. "If I'm not gentle, I can break things or people. Knowing how much pressure to apply to each task is second nature now, but people tease about Sif handling me in the bedroom. If we were to do missionary position, I would kill her. Only the tip of my penis has entered her; the majority of the nerves are on the tip so it's very pleasing and after almost 11 years without any sex and I'm very happy."

"Is Sif happy?"

"Yes, we're very creative in the bedroom." Bruce ate some more of his sandwich.

The End


End file.
